The Konaté Kid
It's Matchweek 2 of the Premier League, which means it's time to rip up all our not-at-all-knee-jerk conclusions from Matchweek 1 and make some new ones.
Premier League
Liverpool 3-2 Newcastle
We may be two weeks in, but you likely won't see a better game this season. It’s 90-minute thrillers like these - played at breakneck speed, top-notch quality, in roaring footballing cathedrals - that make the Prem the best league in the world. This fixture has history, and the ongoing Alexander Isak narrative only served to stoke the flames.
The Magpies dominated a frenzied opening period but found themselves behind to a 35th-minute Ryan Gravenberch bullet. Then the pivotal incident - a reckless challenge by Anthony Gordon on Virgil van Dijk and a straight red for the 24 year-old. Hugo Ekitike compounded the Georgies’ misery, doubling the Reds' advantage with an instinctive finish soon after halftime. Game over.
About that. Newcastle, buoyed on by their feverish support, went at Liverpool. Unbelievably, playing a man down against the champions, Eddie Howe's side looked like the team with the extra number. They halved the deficit by way of their … passionate Brazilian captain Bruno Guimarães and equalized in the 88th via 22 year-old substitute Will Osula. It was scenes at St James’ Park.
The black and white poured on the pressure in search of a winner. 11 minutes of injury time went up on the board. Enter 16 year-old Liverpool schoolboy Rio Ngumoha. The clock hit 100 and Liverpool finally remembered they had 11 players. Mo Salah whipped in a low cross, Dominik Szoboszlai pulled off an ingenious Romelu-Lukaku-vs.-Japan-esque dummy, and Rio stepped onto the ball to hit a strike he’s only dreamed of before. Nick Pope didn’t move. 3-2 Liverpool.
The full time whistle went. The Newcastle fans applauded what was a seismic performance from their team. The away end chanted Rio’s name, and Slot went over to his newest star: “What a moment. Enjoy it.”
Spurs 2-0 Man City
We have once again fallen for the classic dupe: “Are you good, or did you just play Wolves?” After Spurs’ visit to the Etihad, it’s looking like the latter - either that or Thomas Frank deserves a knighthood. This matchup rarely disappoints, and lately Spurs have had the Cityzens’ number. Tottenham were once again pragmatic at the back, solid through the middle, and effective - even a little bit exciting - up front. They opened the scoring through Brennan Johnson following a cross from the reborn Richarlison, and doubled their advantage via some … questionable goalkeeping from new stopper James Trafford. City created chances, but never looked like getting back into it, and the Lilywhites cruised to the points.
Here’s your stat for this one: Saturday marks City’s 6th Premier League home match under Pep Guardiola trailing by 2+ goals at the half. 3 of those are against Spurs. For a team whose trophy room consists of a Europa League and dust, they’ve got quite an effect on City, whose “we’re soooooo back” narrative might have to wait.
Man United 1-1 Fulham
Well, it’s one more point than last week. Manchester United journeyed to Craven Cottage to face Fulham, played well for a half, missed a pen that wasn't a pen, forced an own goal, and then lost steam and drew 1-1. Next week's objective: have a United player score a goal. But in the meantime, we're only 5 points off the top!
If this didn’t look like a good result on Sunday, it certainly looked good after Wednesday’s Carabao Cup disaster at Grimsby Town. It says it all that ESPN thought this was headline-worthy.
On a more positive note, as my friend texted me after the match, I bet the fourth-division Grimsby players got off work the rest of the week.
Some other results from around the league.
Chelsea 5-1 West Ham - Chelsea hammered the Hammers, who look like they’ve been taking set-piece defending tips from Leicester City.
Arsenal 5-0 Leeds - The Gunners dismantled Leeds via Viktor Gyökeres, who finally found some familiar Championship-level opponents to score against, and corner kicks. I think Arsenal - West Ham might end 16-0.
Nottingham Forest 1-1 Crystal Palace - two sides with their eyes on European qualification played to a draw at Selhurst Park. Another week, another defence-splitting assist from the Forest.
Everton 2-0 Brighton - Everton adorned their new stadium with a big win. Two assists from Jack Grealish, a thunderbolt from James Garner, and good vibes all around. The “Hill Dickinson Invincibles” are off and running.
That’s all for this week. A few shoutouts:
Congratulations to Eberechi Eze on winning his last trophy transferring to Arsenal!
Kevin De Bruyne scored on his Napoli debut, alongside the Pope’s idol “Scotto” McTominay. At least former Manchester players are finding the net these days.
Ángel Di María, who earlier this year returned to his boyhood Argentinian club Rosario Central, scored this incredible 30-yard free kick to beat rivals Newell’s Old Boys in the Torneo Clausura. Don’t think there was a dry eye in the stadium.